


In Your Everglow

by CherryBlossomLesbian



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America Sam Wilson, Electrocution, Hallucinations, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Endgame, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Sam Wilson, again not really mentioned but it is, it's not really mentioned but he is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27037909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryBlossomLesbian/pseuds/CherryBlossomLesbian
Summary: A HYDRA goon thinks it's a good idea to sneak up and use a shock baton on Bucky during a mission, sending him spiralling into a panic attack.Sam is highly against anybody hurting Bucky, and the goon has no idea what he has coming until it hits him.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Kudos: 113





	In Your Everglow

**Author's Note:**

> Am I tired? Yes. Should I be in bed? Yes. Am I instead writing things as comfort to my own PTSD? Yes. 
> 
> Title is from Everglow by Starset. Honestly please listen to Starset if you like rock music, it's such good stuff.

The panic attack was instantaneous with the shock on his ribs. 

He immediately fell to the floor, the single shock alone sending his brain spiraling back there, back to when he wasn't allowed to know his own name or even how to think past what he was told. 

He was shaking, lying lifeless on the concrete floor as the HYDRA agent just continued to jab his ribs with the stick, sending more and more shocks running up and down his body. 

They were laughing above him. There were footsteps coming up behind him. To continue the torture, try to make his brain believe he was to forget- 

The chair came into his vision when he looked up. 

It looked tangible. Like if he crawled just a few feet, he'd be kneeling right in front of it. The very thing that haunted his nightmares nearly every night, the reason some of his childhood and even the torture were locked away, memories gone forever, never to resurface. 

There was a familiar voice coming into his ears, and he realized the shocks were no longer coming. He wasn't sure if he'd just become immune, his mind putting up a barrier to numb him so he wouldn't feel anything. 

"I mean, what is wrong with you guys? Ever heard of not being a major asshole? No, shut your mouth, I do not have time for some stupid speech." 

The voice was familiar. The tone was familiar. It was harsh, yet to Bucky, it sounded soft. 

Like clouds. A nice, fluffy pillow, or maybe a blanket. 

He wished he had a nice, warm blanket wrapped around him instead of his cheek pressed into the dirty concrete. 

"Don't you dare get up or I will not hesitate to show you zero mercy." The voice threatened behind him, but Bucky knew it wasn't for him. 

That voice was used to tease Bucky. That voice was used to calm him, help him after a nightmare. 

That voice was Sam. 

Suddenly, there were large, red platform boots in his vision, and then a face, looking at him with worry. 

"Bucky." Sam said, gently. "Can I touch you? Help you back to the quinjet? Mission's done." 

Bucky hummed weakly in acknowledgement. 

"Alright, c'mon." He coaxed, helping Bucky back up on his feet by the shoulders, then slung Bucky's flesh arm around Sam's shoulder to offer more support as they headed towards the quinjet. 

Bucky limped along, body going slack as soon as they reached the quinjet and he was safely sitting down on a bench on the inside. 

"Alright. We're all safe now." Sam sat down next to him, and Bucky leaned his head into the crook of Sam's neck, resting it on his shoulder. 

He was so, so tired. 

"Alright. On course to the base. What happened with Barnes?" Another voice, Sharon, came into earshot. Bucky's eyes had slipped closed, so he couldn't see exactly where she was, but she was close, and her voice was quiet as if she didn't want to wake him in case he was asleep. 

"Some HYDRA goon had a shock stick." Sam put his arm around Bucky's shoulder, intertwining them closer together. "I think he had a panic attack from the electrocution. Not surprising, considering... y'know." 

"I do know." Sharon confirmed. "Does he need a blanket? I think there's one in the first aid compartment." 

"Definitely wouldn't hurt." Sam replied. 

A few minutes later, something warm and cozy was draped around his shoulder, and Sam whispered a quiet "thank you". 

And with that, Bucky drifted off. 

~~~~~~

He woke up in his own bed. 

Three different blankets were laid on top of him, yet he didn't feel too warm. If anything, he was still a bit chilly. 

He shook, just for a minute, when he moved to try and get up. 

He was still so tired. 

And numb. 

He lays his head back down on the pillow and stares up at the ceiling, debating what to do. 

Just then, the door creaks open, and Bucky finds the strength to tilt his head up enough to see Sam walking in with a tray of food and a mug. 

"Hey." He says quietly, placing the tray on the bedside table. 

"I think I hallucinated." Bucky says suddenly, voice hoarse and much louder than Sam had been when he entered the room. Through, he supposes the quietness was for him, so it didn't matter if he was loud or not. 

Sam's expression goes sad. "No, we were actually on a mission, and-" 

"Not that." Bucky clarifies. "While he was…" his voice clams up for a minute, his vocal chords and mouth teaming up to be in protest of even saying the word. "...doing that, I saw, uh, the chair." He says, and Sam's eyes go wide, immediately knowing what he was talking about, which, of course he does, he's heard Bucky ramble on in between sobs after nightmares. "It...it wasn't actually there, right?" 

"I don't think so. You might have hallucinated that." 

"Great." He has to worry about graphic, extremely real-looking hallucinations now. Fan-freaking-tastic. 

"It's okay." Sam reassures, and Bucky just sighs. 

"Whatever. How was debrief?" He asks instead, trying to derail the subject. He assumes his panic attack and being asleep when they arrived back had just exempt him from debrief, and instead he was taken to the cozy escape of his bed. 

Sam scoffs. "Once again they're mad at me for using "too much violence"." Sam physically does the air quotes around "too much violence". "Honestly, I went way too easy this time. Especially on the guy that did that to you. Sure, he may not walk for a bit or be able to use his arms or jaw, but he was alive when I left." He defends with a shrug of his shoulder. "Anyway, I made you pancakes, you want 'em?" He says, also an attempt to derail the conversation. 

But Bucky will never deny a meal made by Sam. Especially not after the day he's had.

"Of course." He sits up in bed, his bones still crackling with electricity- it must just be his imagination doing it, but it does still hurt. 

Sam moves the tray over Bucky's lap, grabbing one of the plates for himself but still leaving a large stack of pancakes for Bucky. He grabs the whipped cream, gives it a quick shake, then tops Bucky's stack with it, making a wobbly little smiley face. He does the same to the hot cocoa in the mug. 

"Dinner in bed." Sam says, grabbing his own fork from the side of the tray and digging into his own pancakes from the plate he's balancing meticulously in one hand. 

"You spoil me, Wilson." Bucky comments as he begins to cut into the stack. 

"It's not spoiling if you deserve it." Sam counters. 

"Have I mentioned that I love you?" Bucky says as he takes his first bite of pancakes, incredibly amazed at how good Sam can make food taste, even if it's just something mundane like pancakes. 

"You may have said it, once." Sam response with an easy smile. 

Bucky smiles so much that night his cheeks hurt, and it's almost like magic that Sam can turn such a terrible day into something so absolutely marvelous. 

He's certain he's going to marry this man one day.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in an hour, can't you tell? 
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/cartersleia)


End file.
